Stories

7 player types on casual football games

Having reached over 100,000 users on Footy Addicts, we’ve seen quite a few player types when playing casual football throughout the years. Some are unique, some are discreet, and some are right down stereotypical. There are some types of players and behaviour you just can’t miss if you’re used to going to a football game. We’ve round up 7 of them just for your enjoyment.

The player-coach

The player coach on casual  7 a side game

Usually a defender, usually older. No one yells “man on” or “unlucky” as loud as they do and whenever you do something wrong (and with them, you always will), they’re trying to give you advice as if they were your guidance counsellor.

They always make sure you have a position even though everyone will end up playing all over the place but it’s nice to have someone that is trying to give a bit of order to things.

The “I can make that shot”

The

No matter how far they are from the goal, no matter how many legs stand in their way, no matter how many balls they’ve already put above the fence, if they are in a position where they can shoot, they will. And for them, being in that kind of position basically means having possession of the ball.

That being said, you have to admire that kind of confidence in a player. Deep down we all wish we had it.

The happy camper

Defending is their kryptonite, dropping back is their absolute nightmare. They plant their tent in front of the opposite goal and only stirs when their team is attacking. Their objective? Just scoring goals, no matter how. Usually, they only scores opportunist tap-ins.

The Pippo Inzaghi of Drapers Field, the David Trezeguet of 7-a-side football. Sure you wish they would sometimes make an effort to keep the other team from scoring, but you gotta love the dedication to their part.

The one that doesn’t look the job

How to dress when playing football

They’re wearing a baggy tracksuit, they’ve slouched, soft-spoken, tall and lanky. They look like they would fare better at streaming Minecraft on Twitch than at 7-a-side football. Then they make you regret ever judging a book by its cover.

They scores 5 goals, nutmeg you, play clean and beautiful football and can actually hit long balls successfully. They don’t look the job perhaps, but they do it a whole lot better than you.

The one who disappears every time the host yells “CHANGE KEEPERS”

Now here’s a magician. They seem to find a cloak of invisibility every time it’s their turn to go in goal. We all know the tricks: looking away like they’re bird watching, tying their already tied shoe laces, pretending like they are stretching.

And when they finally go in goal, they concede 5, making you reconsider ever insisting that they do their time. Football’s ironic that way.

The one that always makes excuses

“The pitch is too slippery”, “I don’t have the right shoes”, “He stepped on my foot”. They are the players that always have excuses whenever they miss, whatever they were trying to do (and that’s pretty much all the time).

They feel like they have to prove to you that screwing up their passes isn’t their normal, that there’s an outside reason why they’re terrible. Well there isn’t. And nobody believes them anyway. But they will keep on telling you that they missed an open goal because the ground was uneven. On a 4G pitch. Never change, mate.

The friendly one

The friendly person in the pitch.

There are those players who are just nice. Top Footy Addicts. Great people. When there’s a nasty tackle on them they’re the ones that say “no worries, all part of the game”. When you miss the easiest goal ever, they’re the ones that “I probably would’ve missed too”. They say ‘hi’ to everyone with a huge smile and pay for the pints after the game.

We wish we were more like that player.

Do you think we’ve missed any player type you see at a casual football game? Have you ever had a particular experience with one of those types? Let us know!